I’m making mistakes. Mistakes in judgement. Not big ones. Mistakes that will take care of themselves, if not discovered, and the only one who could be hurt is me. If they are discovered, well, then people will question my judgement. Which would be justified.
This worries me, because it could be signalling a depression. I run into a situation that is a little bit out of the ordinary (really, just a little), and I panic, and take the quickest way out. Not the best, not even the easiest way out, but the quickest. And this has led to errors in judgement in the last week. And this worries me.
I’ve been chronically depressed since I was about seven. I was in counseling once in seventies, and twice in the nineties. Throughout a good part of the late eighties and early nineties I was debilitatingly depressed. The last major depression was about ten years ago and I didn’t see it coming.
That’s why these little slips scare the holy fuck out of me.